Monday, November 12, 2012

Tuesday Night at The Fights and the Skoal Bandit

       I was reminded of a  funny story from my youth today.Back when doing stupid things were almost a daily occurrence. And this story falls in that category. It was back in 1990 my freshman year and only year spent at the University of Cincinnati. A great but short year. Maybe it was my immaturity, my laziness, my lack of a clear path for my future, or the fact I joined a fraternity. In all likely hood it was a combination of all three things that made the university ask me to please not return for another year. But that year created some very fond memories and this is one.
       Like I said I was a member of greek fraternal organization. And like all guys in a fraternity we liked to hang out together, drink beer and mingle with members of the opposite sex. And on this Tuesday night there was one place where guys on a limited budget could do both. It was a place called Mr. K's and every Tuesday night it was nickle beer night. Four dollars could get a whole group feeling pretty good. And the place always seemed to be full of pretty young ladies that were easy to talk to after being properly juiced up. The only problem with Mr. K's is that it had a reputation of being a little rowdy. We affectionately called going there "a night at the fights." The reason for this was because Mr. K's was an eighteen and up bar, but due to the proximity to Kentucky the bar got a lot of young high school rednecks with fake id's that were looking for a rowdy time. And that night was no different, so we always made sure we went there in groups of 5 or more. This tended to keep the chances of an altercation down. This night the group had as a member a guy named JP. JP is a great guy, always boisterous, fun to be around, good looking, and always seemed to have a dip in. People always liked having him around because things were going to be fun when JP walked into the room. That night as the evening got later, the music got louder, and the beer flowed. Our inhibitions seemed to take a back seat and we started to talk to a group of fine Kentucky ladies. They were fun and we were enjoying our time with them. But like in every group there is always that one. The one with a spark, more beautiful than the others. The one all the guys want to impress. And in this group it was a gorgeous brunette. It was no surprise to all of us that she gravitated towards JP and him to her. And soon they were talking and laughing together in the back corner of the bar sharing the same bar stool. As the evening got older they got even closer. Then finally the DJ played a song the girl really loved and she grabbed JP by the hand and led him to the dance floor. They began to sway back and forth getting closer and closer until finally they were one big lump of young hormones quivering on the dance floor. Then they began to kiss passionately, the entire bar saw them because by this time the song was over and they didn't seem to notice. They kept kissing. We other guys were all thinking how lucky JP was making out with the hottest girl in the bar. Maybe we were a bit jealous to but that's how it goes. Then suddenly JP showed up at the table alone with a strange dumbfounded look on his face. We all asked, where was the girl? Why wasn't he with her? He just looked at us and said.
     "You are not going to believe this. Everything was going great up until she kissed me. We were out there on the dance floor dancing. Then she grabbed me and started making out with me. Then all of a sudden I felt her tongue go into the front of my lip and she took the dip I had in out with her tongue and now she has it in her lip."
      We couldn't believe it. We all started screaming and laughing. We didn't believe him, until we turned around and saw the hot brunette spit out some spit juice into a cup. We could not contain ourselves any more, we all lost it. We started trying to figure out what was her motivation? Did she think it would turn JP on that she could do something so dexterously with her tongue? Or does she just like to dip that much? Either way that was the last Tuesday night that we ever went to at Mr. K's.

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