I'm Going To Be On The Air

This Saturday Morning,March 2nd 2013, I'm going to be on the air with my friend and fellow comic Tim McKenna talking sports and comedy on ESPN 1580 in Colorado Springs. We will be on at 10:00 Am Mountain Time (12 pm Eastern Time). If you would like to listen to us talk sports and comedy or what ever else fancies us you can by listening live at http://www.espn1580.com/. And if you have a question about anything please feel free to call us at 719-694-2446. We'll talk belly love!

Cheers Liquor Mart Tv Commercials

I was just thinking I would share all the tv commercials I did last year for Cheers Liquor Mart here in Colorado Springs. I'll start from the first one and end on the holiday one I did. I hope you enjoy them. And please feel free to comment and share this blog with anybody you wish. Now sit back with an adult beverage or two and a bowl of popcorn..

Thought I would throw in one from Q104 from Halifax. :)

Ode to the 24 Pack of Crayons

 

ODE TO THE 24 PACK OF CRAYONS

 By Melissa Getz AKA Getzilla

     The 96 pack of crayons were for the non creative kids. 

As a child, with only the 24 pack, you had to squeeze mileage out of each and every crayon.

The precious colored wax was not wasted on frivolous pictures, nor were they distributed

to classmates.

Every colored stick in the ostentatious 96 pack cried out to be  used, only to be passed up for another.

Jealousy and tension  ranked high in the lavish pack.

Crayons were bitter in that four or five looked nearly the same, only with a slight

variation in tone.

But the 24 pack, abused and rounded down.

Knew each one would eventually be a part of the picture.

And if one was gone they could not perform.

All the pigments were necessary to compliment and contrast.

(Unlike the 96 pack. Replacements lurked every where.)

In closing. 

This is a story about character and creativity.

Drawing a masterpiece with 24 crayons takes creativity.

And asking your friends, who have the 96 pack, for a crayon,

builds character.

Thank You.

Melissa Getz, AKA Getzilla: Melissa's three dimensional sculpture showcase straightforward subject matter and titles with a narrative quality throughout the work.

The work consists of stylistic bronze and mixed media in a representational form of figures and objects with a touch of lowbrow.
The heavy handed human forms sit next to fluid, jaunty animal pieces that are frozen in mid movement.  All with an underlying tone of humor.
Closeness to nature and creatures, create the basis for the artist's inspiration.  This love of nature as well as the appreciation for the depth of the artist's own emotional discoveries is revealed in the art.
Melissa grew up in what was once rural Ohio, next to her grandfather's farm.  She has worked outdoors all her life whether planting annuals in flower beds or cutting down beetle infested pines in the Pike National Forest.
Melissa currently lives in Colorado Springs and gets out into nature as much as possible with Kevin and their mutt, Rudy. http://www.bluecanvas.com/getzilla and http://www.mgetzilla.com/index.html

The Hooker and The Pork Chop

 I was lucky enough to grow up in the great state of Ohio, and in particular the nice town of Brookville Ohio. A great lil town that the Beav would love to call home. The only dilemma, it was less then ten minutes by car away from the city of Dayton. A great city to be from with a long and proud history. The only problem, like a lot of rust belt cities, the city had seen it's better days. The home of the Wright brothers, Emma Bombeck and Paul Laurence Dunbar, was in the grips of the crack wars and crime that followed in my formative years. It was known as little Detroit, but not because of the long history of automotive prowress (at one time Dayton produced more cars than Detroit), but because of the crime that permeated this midwest city. Which was great for young teenage kids like me. Why do you ask? Simple, you could travel into the the city and go to the drive thru and get as much beer or liquor as you want and no one cared. The police, in those days, had more important  things to worry about than a couple of dumb ass teenagers with a case of Bud Dry. You may be asking, "what the hell is a drive thru?"  It's just what it say's. A building you can actually drive through, order your poison and roll out with a party in your car.

  

 And in Dayton the drive through was and still is a sight to behold. There are more of these fine establishments than any city I have ever lived in then and ever since. There were places in town that there were four drive thru's on one corner.  They have it down to a science. They would have a guy at the opening asking for your id(lol) and what you wanted. Then he would yell to the guy inside what  your beverage of choice was for the evening, that guy would grab it out of the cooler and yell to another guy what you got. Then you would pay the last guy and was on your marry way. The entire transaction took maybe three minutes on a busy night. Great system, which my friends and I used regularly.
     Well this Friday night, I will never forget, my buddies and I got together for a night of general teenage shenanigans like we usually did every weekend. We wanted to grab some beer and the usual channels we used dried up. So we got in my buddy Jaime's red camaro with T-Tops. Back home in Dayton Ohio we called that the Dayton Ferrai. We headed out to the Westside of Dayton bumping N.W.A. because that shit was the jam back then, looking for our adult beverages.

It was Jaime, and I in the front seat and Mark sitting in the back seat, and we pulled off Gettysburg Avenue onto a side street. I had no idea where Jaime was heading, but figured he knew so I didn't fret. We pulled into a drive thru. I couldn't tell you where it was but I can tell you this, I will never forget it, it was a red building with pac man painted on the side of it. And, oh yes, a couple of ladies of the evening, ok hookers, milling around talking to cars waiting in line. We pulled in behind a car to get our happy juice. As we sat there we couldn't help but notice this particular lady. standing behind the other hookers wearing a gold mesh shirt, braless, with cut off jeans with a gigantic rip showing off her cootchy pop. Leaving nothing to your imagination. But that's not what stood out about her. What stood out was the rather juicy pork chop she was munching on. I thought to my self," she obviously is working through lunch, kudos girl."
  Of course Jaime noticed and started talking about how we should pick her up for some fun. I was against it right away, telling him I'm not into this. Mark acted kind of excited but not really committing. I told Jaime we should just get our beer and forget it. He relented, we got our case of Bud Dry and pulled out of the drive thru excited about meeting some ladies at a house party in New Lebanon. As we pulled out though, there she was, still munching on that pork chop hungerly . Jaime slowed down, I begged to no avail. Jaime pulled over, Mark was excited, I was terrified. Jaime swung the door open and said hello. She walked over licking her fingers while still holding her half eaten pork chop.
  "Hay Baby, wanna date?" she said
   And as she picked her teeth Jaime asked, "How much for all three?"
  She took a bite of her pork chop, I was starting to get hungry actually, and said, "For all three $100."
I shook my head and said to Jaime, "No man, come on." He just looked at me smiled and said, "Ok, get in."
I buried my head thinking to my self,"great we're underage with a case of beer and a hooker, how is Katie and Virgil going to take this when they come to pick me up from jail. And I'm not going to get into the college of my choice now."
   My heart dropped to my ankles as she started to step into the Dayton Ferrai. All I could see was Mark's smiling face. Then all of a sudden Jaime floored it and the Camaro lurched forward and the hooker fell on her backside. I yelled, "You asshole!" as we pulled away and looked back. Expecting to see a pimp cadillac chasing us. All I saw was the hooker in the middle of the street yelling and shaking her pork chop angrily at us before launching it at the car that did her wrong. She had quite an arm, she could of played QB for the Buckeyes, that pork chop landed with a loud thud onto the back of the Camaro window and stuck there until Jaime turned abruptly onto Gettysburg causing the pork chop to slide off the window. Hooker spit is powerful. Just another night in Dayton, Ohio.